Depression

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The worst kind of sad, is not being able to explain why.

Have you ever been so sad that it physically hurts inside?

I hate getting flashbacks from things I don’t want to remember.

If you only knew how much, how bad, how often I hurt.

Monsters don’t live under your bed, they live in your head.

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Facts:

An estimated 45% of Australians will experience a mental illness in their life.

Approximately 1 million adults have depression.

Depression is the largest form of disability in Australia.

Postnatal depression will affect 14% of new mothers in Australia.

It is estimated that depression will be the second largest cause of death and disability within the next 20 years.

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Support and Advice:

Lifeline – 13 11 14

Kids Helpline – 1800 551 800

Suicide Call Back Service – 1300 659 467

Mensline Australia – 1300 78 99 78

Beyondblue 1300 22 46 36

Myths:depression

Having depression means you are weak.

You can just snap out of it.

Antidepressants are the only solution for depression.

If someone needs help they’ll ask for it.

It’s normal.

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Living with depression:

Explaining what it fells like to live, with and through depression is difficult. It’s very different for every person. Some people explain it as constant noise in their head they can’t silence, for others it’s a never ending need to cry, some describe a lack of anything, no will, no motivation, no emotion, numbness, and some others just feel a complete body exhaustion. It’s important to realise that no matter how you describe it, it’s not normal!

IMG_1269.JPGHaving a constant battle with your mind, will quite literally send you insane. The constant argument over whether you are good enough, or smart enough, have any talent what so ever, or even if you deserve to be alive, is physically exhausting, until one day you just stop arguing and your mind wins. It takes control and you start to believe all the negative thoughts that a depressed mind can conjure up. The thoughts are scary and emotional, but when you are suffering from depression, you don’t have the ability to see the thoughts for what they are. A chemical imbalance in your brain.

Everyone has at some point in their life gone through, hard, trying and sad times. The difference between being upset and emotional after such a traumatic time, and living with depression is as long as piece of string, and as wide as the ocean is wet. There really is no comparison. One is knowing that one day, at some point in the future your world will turn around, you may have changed from the experience, but one day you know you will be able to accept the change and start to move forward. Depression is not being able to see that point, not believing there will be a day the world will start moving forward and not really caring if it does or does not. There is nothing but this pain and this day and that’s it, so what does it matter if I’m no longer here?untitled

Total and utter blackness surrounds your mind, your emotions, and your world. Your engulfed in a stifling, strangling, over powering sense of nothingness. That time in a scary movie, just before the villain attacks, a sense of dread comes over you, a deafening silence grips you, you hold your breath and wait for the attack. Imagine if the movie ended there, the attack never comes and the villain never strikes. Your just stuck waiting for something to happens, only it never does. Being stuck in this position forever. Constantly on edge, looking and waiting for the final attack, the stabbing, the life ending strike to fall upon you. Forever walking around the darkened room looking, watching, waiting, waiting, waiting;

The truth about depression, is that it seems there will never be away out. You may have the best life, supportive, loving and caring friends and family. Have all the help you will ever need to fight this demon, but the monster in your head, that is depression, will stop you from being able to seek and reach out for this help.  It may take something as simple as someone saying, “Where is your mind at today”, for you to shake lose the cob webs that have formed and reach out and grasp the hand that is being offered to you.

Depression is a constant struggle, even when you have gotten the help needed, and you’ve travelled your journey, gone through your recovery, it’s always there. In the back of your mind, waiting and watching. It is possible to beat depression and have a wonderful life, but the memory will stay with you. It serves as a reminder of how far down you’ve gotten and how hard and far you’ve travelled to beat it. It’s important for it to stay with you, to serve as your closest friend and your best reminder of why it’s constantly necessary to fight for survival. Why you are worth the battle, and how it can and does now walk each step with you on what will hopefully be a very long life.

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Be strong, because things will get better. It my be stormy now, but it never rains forever.

You didn’t come this far to only come this far.

All things are difficult before they are easy.

I believe in the person I want to become.

And I simply decided to be happy again.

No amount of regret can change the past.  No amount of anxiety can change the future.

You will never have this day again, so make the most of it.

Worrying about tomorrow, only stops you from seeing today’s endless possibilities.

One day or day one? You decide!